FAKE NEWS | Local Teen Traumatized After Receiving Phone Call

LOS ANGELES – 16-year-old Lauren Paige was left traumatized today after receiving a call on her cellphone.

“I was on my phone this afternoon – you know, that thing you use for Instagram and TikTok – when suddenly a number appeared on the screen and it began to make a loud sound,” she told reporters. “I pressed a green button on the screen with a symbol on it that looked like a banana, and then a disembodied man’s voice came out of my phone.

“It said ‘Hello,’ and so I said “Hello,’ back, and then it began talking to me and asking me questions,” Paige wept. “It was, like, so weird!”

Upon investigation, the teen had received a “phone call” – an archaic mode of communication that died out around 2015, before cellphones basically became expensive two-way pagers, used only for texting (as well as social media). The caller turned out to be Paige’s grandfather, who was calling to ask her how she was.

Paige said she was in such a state of shock that she didn’t recognize his voice or register what he was saying. “I thought it was a ghost,” she said.

“It’s the kind of thing you sometimes see in old movies, but you never think it’ll happen to you. I mean, someone contacting you on your phone and putting you on the spot and expecting you to reply in real time?” she asked incredulously. “What if you’re busy then?

“Who does that?” she sobbed. “Who still does that in 2022??”